To whom I would send flowers on Mothers Day

Of all the days of the year, the most painful for me happens to be Mother’s Day. I figured I’d get over it when I had children of my own, but I’m still not quite there yet (even though someone told my daughter about breakfast in bed and she has been trying to find out all week which cereal I would pick, in her own sneaky way, and has requested ever so kindly that I make sure that on Saturday night the ‘milk is on the bottom shelf of the fridge where she can reach it, and isn’t too full’). When all the hallmark commercials jewellery ads and spa flyers start up, there is suddenly list of things people thank mothers for and it breaks my heart. I lost my mom to cancer when I was little, and while there have been many incredible people in my life, no one else can take this place. It occurred to me today that the most painful part of this for me is the memories of all the moment in which I wish I had had a mother to talk to, to be with, to ask questions to. That I can’t fix. The second thing is an unbounding gratitude in my heart and no particular person upon which to lavish it. That I know I can remedy in a small way. So here it is. If I had the courage (and maybe someday I will) there are so many people to whom I would like to send flowers on Mothers Day- almost too many to count!

To the woman who taught me how to take a compliment, though it took a long time

To the two unlikely men who taught me it was okay to cry, and often necessary

To the woman who taught me to love making food

To the man who taught me, without trying to, the value of tenacity and holding ones ground until adversaries had moved on

To the woman who showed me that life lived by God’s Word was going to look weird sometimes, but was worth it

To the woman who showed me what joy really looks like

To the woman who reminded me that life is allowed to be fun

To the woman who made me take one of the most frightening risks in my life because she knew I had it in me

To the man who taught me the way to freedom is to praise God for the darkest times in my life (to whom I will forever be indebted)

To the man who showed me the healing power of poetry, writing and listening to those words inside my head instead of shutting them out

To the woman who gave me countless chances to be a leader long before anyone else thought I was really ready

To the woman who walked with me in prayer for a few weeks of my life and forever changed how I saw God
To the woman who taught me that being feminine and submissive didn’t have to mean being stupid

To the three woman who taught me about inductive Bible Study and gave me a level of wisdom to aspire to.

To the woman who was not afraid of my weaknesses and not afraid to show me hers as well

To three women who are so madly in love with their husbands that I have learned much from them about loving my own

To the woman who encouraged me to seek God for the paths I should take in parenting rather than books and manuals and rules

To the woman who taught me that hospitality is not about having a spotless house

To the two women who I respect so much as mothers of their children who have given me courage and perseverance

To the man who gave me permission to not live like I was dying just because my mother had died so young – and gave me permission to live my own life

And countless more. To all of you, I thank you. Happy Mother’s Day.

In my heart I celebrate all the incredible people –men and women- God has brought into my life, to lead and guide and teach me, to talk and walk and laugh with me.

And to all of you who are Mothers – never once doubt how important you are in the life of your child, whether they acknowledge it or not. The absence of my mom is an absence I feel every day of my life. Happy Mothers Day.