My Kids are Crazy

I think it's every mom's responsibility to think her children are special and brilliant and unlike every other child in the whole world. Let me tell you that I am aware of this, and aware it sounds just plain annoying to non-mom's and even other mom's. So take all I say here knowing that I know that about myself. 

While I think my kids are both special and brilliant I also think they are crazy.

Take last night for example. 

Miranda has been learning how to read this month, and while she can make it through the first half of the Bob Books set 1, she has become far more interested in learning how to read and spell words that are in here sphere of interest. Words like play, though we haven't got into vowel blends yet, are very interesting to her, so we go with it. 

So last night Jason and I were sitting in the living room talking while he plugged in the laptop and got some other things ready for a Missionary recruiting gig he has today, we heard a fury of footsteps above our head that sounded like Miranda running from her bedroom to the stairs, and back to her bed again. So Jason went up to see what the fuss was all about. On the top of the stairs was a note. 

I    EPy

MiRANDA

Jason laughed to himself and went into her room for the translation. The story is, apparently, that she had dropped her precious stuffed puppy, and didn't know where he was. She missed puppy. She knew she wasn't to get out of her room to tell us about this (this has happened before) so she wrote us a note so that we would know when we came upstairs. She intended to write "I miss puppy" but she couldn't think of the word for 'miss' and she tried to spell puppy herself! We'll have to work on reading that word today. :) Jason was good not to burst into a fit of laughter while up there with her, but we laughed a great deal downstairs afterwards. I think it's great that she thought to write a note. What I don't understand is what would make her mind think that instead of getting off her bed to pick puppy off the ground, she would be better served by searching her room for a paper and pencil and writing us a NOTE and then leaving it on the stairs and scurrying back to bed?? Really!

Now Simon on the other hand is doing weird things too. It must be all these days in a row each week stuck inside our house.  He's mostly past his toilet-diving phase and but is still really fascinated by the bathroom. Two days ago, he wiggled free of my grasp and crawled up the stairs at lightning speed. I went after him only to find him in the bathroom, up on Miranda's bathroom stool, with his toothbrush and toothpaste in hand. He needed to brush his teeth, I guess! Since then he's been up there brushing 4-5 times a day. Anytime we're on the top floor, really. And at 14 months he's way better at it than Miranda was up until just recently! The kid has a thing for orall hygine, I guess! He also may be toilet trained before he is two. He is very curious of toilet useage, but lately only when Jason goes. Yesterday, as I was brushing my own teeth in the bathroom, Simon pushed the stool up to the toilet, stepped up onto it, pulled down his pants and was trying to figure out how to undo is diaper! The sight of him trying to pee like a big boy nearly made me fall over with laughter! Wow. I hvae to remind myself that at this age Miranda hadn't even taken her first steps! The two of them are so different it's hard to beleive they are related!

My kids are crazy. They make me laugh. 

Painting Pictures of Egypt

So there is this place that my mind goes back to when I’m beginning to panic and I’m trying to hold back tears. And a place I am reminded of in my sweetest moments. This place feels like bare feet stretched out in long grass, like the smell of a summer forest after a fierce rainstorm, like warm river water washing over my shoulders, like the feeling of complete and utter freedom in waking up from a night sleep under the full moon and stars. It is a place where I first discovered the communion that is possible when friends shed the masks and layers of youthful self consciousness until all that remains is the nakedness of words and the truth of our souls laid bare before one another by firelight. It is a place where I discovered that there are others who are willing to care about me unconditionally and be concerned enough with my soul to shepherd and mentor me and give of their life to me for God’s sake. It’s a place I learned not just to believe in myself- though that began to happen-, but to believe in God.

And it is a place I was given, though I didn’t deserve it, leadership and opportunity to give of myself and serve Jesus until there were days when I wasn’t even conscious of myself – just the community of believers and those we served. I was wood consumed in the fire, joyfully, having tasted that place never wanting to return to the world outside. The rhythm of the day could not be replicated elsewhere… I had formal times of prayer alone or with others no less than 12 times a day – taught 3 hours of Bible study and leadership classes, was taught and mentored for an hour, and found myself doing all matter of tasks in between from washing dishes and toilets to leading songs and telling stories, to writing curriculum and leading children to Christ. I saw miracle after miracle there. My muscles were strong and my skin dark from the sun.

I met people there unlike any I’ve ever found elsewhere. I found people like me. I found a place where I didn’t have to pretend, didn’t have to hide, didn’t have to try so hard to figure out the game that I forgot to laugh. I hold onto the remembrance of this place fiercely.

A few weeks ago I was in the car, praying and thinking as Jason drove and the kids slept and I had put on a new cd that a friend had given to me – Sara Groves Conversations. And I was just praying for Camp Cherith (the place I went to camp every summer for 8 years as a child, and spent 10 summers of my life as staff) that God might give me a chance to return there in some way, or find a way that I can help the ministry of the camp from where I am.

And this song comes on : Painting Pictures of Egypt. And being the first time I’d ever heard this song, the following lyrics struck me like a blow to the stomach:

And the places I long for the most
Are the places where I’ve been
They are calling out to me
Like a long lost friend

And the place I was wasn’t perfect
But I had found a way to live
And it wasn’t milk or honey
But then neither is this

I've been painting pictures of Egypt,
Leaving out what it lacks
The future feels so hard,
And I wanna go back!
But the places that used to fit me,
Cannot hold the things I've learned
Those roads were closed off to me
While my back was turned!

And it definetly struck me – I have been complaining to God and begging him to show me how to be fruitful where I am, because daily I am frustrated at feeling worthless, fruitless, living a life void of purpose which is the exact opposite of how I should be spending my days! But perhaps the reason I cannot be fruitful in any of the endeavors I have tried to pour myself into here – on the other side (post-Cherith) is because I haven’t let go. And I haven’t come to accept that there may be other things for me to do and to be now.

Maybe I have to accept that for a long while, it might look like nothing.

Five years ago, it was about this time that I was sitting in the auditorium of Willow Creek church, watching a gangly man with a charming voice prepare to address 5 thousand children’s ministry workers and explain in words we could understand what had lead to the downfall of Big Idea. I feel blessed to this day to have heard Phil Vischer speak. He told of his chase after a vision he thought he was supposed to have and how it ruined his life and the lives of hundreds around him, and that God pulled him from that wreak to show him that now, where he is in 5 years is not his business, it’s God’s. It is interesting in the Christian world today – especially in some ministry circles it is pretty cool to have a ‘vision’ to deal with strategic planning to have a growth plan and to treat God’s work that you just happen to be a part of as something you can actually control by reading enough books by John C. Maxwell. I was getting on that train myself. I had plans and a vision for myself in children’s ministry. I thought if I worked hard enough at it, read the right stuff I would actually begin to like it as much as I LOVED working at Cherith and I would have success and fruit and I had my plan as to how I was going to get ‘there’. Well, Phil up on that stage, who is as successful as any Christian these days could possibly get posed the question : For the first 100 years of his life, what did Noah do to prepare for his BIG JOB of building the ark? Huh. I don’t remember anything in my Sunday School memory of the first 100 years of Noah’s life. No mention of shipbuilding school, zoology degrees, internships with the great carpenters. All the Bible tells us is that for one hundred years Noah walked with God. That’s all. And he didn’t try and plan it, create a strategic plan to get himself there. It happened to him, because he was walking with God.

Phil Vischer – creator of Veggie Tales - now has a new company – Jellyfish Media. He chose the Jellyfish because it is unable to locomote – all it can do is go where the tides take it.

Reminding myself of this doesn’t stop the nostalgia for a place where I felt loved, and fruitful, and useful to God. A place where I was in constant community. But it seems I have a lot of praying to do about this. Now is not the right time in the life of my family to give myself over to a ministry, no matter how much I believe in it. Now is the time to simply walk with God. And it might mean I never get to go back there. Being in the wilderness for a while is okay, and won’t last as long if I am following God. And of course – at the other end is what?

Hope.

The promised land.

Whatever it looks like I must remind myself if where I have come from was so beautiful, My God will provide beauty in the now, and the what is to come too.

Less Nuts is Good (some logical notation and a few recipes)

This is something you would learn about me if you baked anything with me. I like to add more of stuff. TO everything. I somehow feel that I must make every recipe better so people say 'MMMmm this is the best cupcake/brownie/cookie/soup/turkey/chickencordonbleu I've ever tasted! it's kind of what I've got time to be good at around here, so I do what I can. It drives my brother crazy - he's a good cook and a decent baker when he wants to be, but he's worked in restaurants and is pretty much trained to follow the recipe. Me? I never make anything the same twice. It usually has to be 'improved'.

Which is probably why my bisoctti has NEVER worked.
Okay, so the first year wasn't that horrible (probably because Erika or Thea were there with me to keep me reasonable). But every subsequent year, we've had biscotti disaster. This year, it struck me.
Maybe when the recipe SAYS to use 3/4 of a cup of pistachios, it really MEANS 3/4 of a cup pistachios and I should not add an extra half a cup to make it 'better'.

WOW.

So I gave it a try this year, and followed the recipe. And guess what? Most beautiful biscotti EVER! It didn't crumble to a million tasty pieces when I tried to slice it because it didn't have too many nuts. It sliced and baked beautifully (and if I hadn't forgotten about that last tray I'd have four dozen lightly golden slices right now instead of three...we'll work on that for next year).

I guess I had formulated the fallacy in my brain that

I guess I had formulated the fallacy in my brain that if nuts are yummy then more nuts will equal more yummy (formal notation deleted, because it fights  with the html in my post and I don't have a clue how to rectify it)

. My logic’s a little rusty. But I wanted to share this because I can see this year that sometimes my desire to add more and more and more can sometimes impair my ability to enjoy Christmas also. Sometimes, maybe lots of times, less nuts is good. So with that, here is my really-delicious recipe for Christmas biscotti. Add only the amount of pistachios called for. J I’m not, however, going to instruct you on the amount of chocolate coating to use… Cranberry Pistachio Biscotti

2 cups all-purpose flour1

1/2 teaspoons baking powder

3/4 cup sugar

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature

1 teaspoon grated lemon zest

1/4 teaspoon salt2 large eggs

3/4 cup pistachios, coarsely chopped

2/3 cup dried cranberries

12 ounces good-quality white chocolate

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line a heavy large baking sheet with parchment paper. Whisk the flour and baking powder in a medium bowl to blend. Using an electric mixer, beat the sugar, butter, lemon zest, and salt in a large bowl to blend. Beat in the eggs 1 at a time. Add the flour mixture and beat just until blended. Stir in the pistachios and cranberries. Form the dough into a 13-inch long, 3-inch wide log on the prepared baking sheet. Bake until light golden, about 40 minutes. Cool for2 hours.. Place the log on the cutting board. Using a sharp serrated knife, cut the log on a diagonal into 1/2 to 3/4-inch-thick slices. Arrange the biscotti, cut side down, on the baking sheet. Bake the biscotti until they are pale golden, about 15 minutes. Transfer the biscotti to a rack and cool completely. Stir the chocolate in a bowl set over a saucepan of simmering water until the chocolate melts. Dip half of the biscotti into the melted chocolate. Gently shake off the excess chocolate. Place the biscotti on the baking sheet for the chocolate to set. Sprinkle with the sugar crystals. Refrigerate until the chocolate is firm, about 35 minutes. The biscotti can be made ahead. Store them in an airtight container up to 4 days, or wrap them in foil and freeze in resealable plastic bags up to 3 weeks.

So there you have it. Thoughts on being nuts at Christmas (a natural inclination of mine) and a pretty good recipe. AND for you lucky few who found your way here, a peek at my Christmas baking. :) If anyone wants any of my other recipes, I don't keep any of them secret - let me know if you want my sugar cookie, springerle, peppermint bark, chocolate mint cookies or shorbread recipes!)
I hope YOU are having a wonderful week preparing for Christmas too. :)

And so it begins...

I haven't written for a while, as I have been busy gearing up to December first (when 'Christmas' in my house begins..). At this moment all presents are bought, but a few still have to be made - as of yesterday the Christmas cookies are almost all done and the house is decorated. I LOVE this time of year, but what I am loving most is sharing the miricle of Christ's birth with my daughter. This is the Advent calendar I made for her - we're on day 4 obviously, and each day she has been excited to open the tissue and find a candy, an activity to do together and the day's Bible reading from our Advent plan. I must say that getting on a regular habit of family Bible reading is harder than I thought it would be - especially with Jason not usually coming home until after the rest of us have eaten supper (I was hoping to do this every night at our evening meal) and that being the height of the kinds cranky period. Any suggestions are welcome. :)
The Advent calendar was fun to make - I saw the idea on someone's blog, but the link to the person who made it first was no longer working. It was easy enough to save up 25 paper tubes over a few months, and wrap them with printed scrapbook paper and some elements I printed off and glued to chipboard. Add some cute numbers, and we're done! :) The hardest part was coming up with 24 fun things to do that were manageable for me in the month when so many other things pop up... Here's the list as it stands so far! (feel free to skip to the end if you like)

1. Set up Nativity and read the Christmas story

2. Make pinecone birdfeeders

3. Bakie cookies with Neena and Grandpoo (grandma and grandpa)

4. Decorage Gingerbread boys & girls

5. Go to church for prechool movie night : a Charlie Brown Christmas!

6. Make paper snowflakes and trees for the windows

7. Make Christmas Potpourri

8. Make Cinnamon Clay Ornaments

9. Grandpoo and Neena coming over to babysit

10. Make Shrinkydink 'jewelry'

11. Build Bethlehm out of blocks and read "The Something Wonderful"

12. Uncle Andrew coming over - bake/sing Christmas songs

13. Make Snowman Family (if there's snow!)

14. Take items we've been collecting for the YAC to church

15. Playdough Day

16. Friends coming over to play

17. Build an indoor "igloo" (fort day!)

18. Paint frames for Christmas gift pictures

19. Skaing Party

20. Wrap Christmas Presents

21. Church Day

22. Make Snowglass

23. Go for a drive to look at Christmas lights

24. Go to church Christmas Eve

We'll see how things go this month. :) The good thing about my daughter not being able to read yet is I get to read what the fun thing we get to do is! If I don't have everything ready, we'll call it a 'Red and Green Day" and my daughter will be equally thrilled. :) Is that cheating? Maybe. :)

Let's be quiet...

Last night Miranda (3) and I were walking in the dark to her ballet class three blocks from our house. It was a beautiful warm night. The moon was a thin crescent in the sky, the treet was slick and shining with rain and the sidewalks were maple-matted all the way. But these are things that I didn't really notice as I left the house. I was unhappily walking my daughter to her one and only tuition-paid activity and dreading having to make small talk wit the other moms. I was thinking about how I should have done the laundry that day so I had something less disgusting and Simon-slimed to wear in public, while trying to remember if tomorrow was garbage day and hoping I had time to get the kitchen cleaned when I got home in order to get to bed early because I felt another cold coming on... at least I hoped it was a cold...

And then I heard a little sound from beside me.

"Those clouds look so in-ter-nesting"
"Can you say that again Miranda?" I wasn't sure what word she was trying to say.
"Internesting. You know that Mommy? The clouds are internesting to me."
"Oh... Interesting? Yes, I guess they are interesting"

The clouds were in long whispy strands, coloured blues and pinks across the moon and stars.

"I like the interesting cloud on the moon, Mommy. Because its pink and I like pink."
"Yes, that is a very pretty cloud"

Silence for a moment.

"Mommy?"
"Yes, Miranda?"
"Let's just be quiet and listen to the beautiful sounds now."
"okay"

And we did. For the rest of the walk we took in the night. And I heard sounds I'm sure I hadn't registered in years. The thousands of different sounds leaves make, for instance, when they come in contact with feet, bicycles, the wind.

No one teaches presence like a child.

Imaginary Things

So I've been trying to learn to laugh more, because it's good for me and because there is lots in my life to laugh at but there are definetly times when I need to learn not to.

Like when you three year old comes running into your bedroom in the middle of the night, terrified from a nightmare that she has had.

And she tells you she had a dream of a "a poop, and it had a face on it, and it was big and it was standing and it had a sad face." !

I wasn't particularly awake at 2:00am, and she had to repeat herself a few times, but in between the tears I finally understood what she was saying, I had to shove my face in my pillow to keep her from seeing that I had to laugh!

I went back to her room with her, and tucked her in and lay beside her for about half an hour, until she stopped shaking, and crying. We sung songs, prayed and talked about happy things until she was a little better. But she has not wanted to go back to sleep today, and I'm not sure how much she actually slept after that last night. She hugged her hippopotamus flashlight, turned on, and I did not take it away from her. I figure a change in batteries is worth both of us getting some sleep.

She's always had night terrors and a fairly vivid imagination - lately she's been drawing pretty hilarious things. And telling me bizare things like my elbow speaks spanish and likes mice (??!). The pictures here are things she has drawn in the past ten days or so - and these are just the ones I could find (click to see the enlarged version). I think they're pretty good for having just turned three!

Her nightmares this month have also included a family of cats, who wear spy glasses, and find their way into her room through the nightlight (which we therefore can no longer turn on). They don't do anything apprently except for meow. But she's still very scared of cats since a series of dreams she has had. Right now she keeps an imaginary snake by her bed, (named "my friend the snake") and has some (also imaginary) ants that appear around the house (named similarly "my friends the ants"). She just doesn't like me to catch her talking to them. :)

All of that I could take with a straight face. The standing poop-with-a-face, that was too much! :)

Thinking of Christmas

So I actually do realize that it is still September, but every year I come to December first, and realize how unprepared I am to do all the things I really intended to do in the weeks leading up to Christmas. So this year, I'm getting a few things out of the way early. :)

I love advent calendars, and just the entire season of Advent and I'm SO excited that this year I have a child who is old enough to really participate in the whole event. So I'm thinking of making an advent calendar for us to use this year. I am hoping each day will contain a small candy or other item (thank you, Dollarama!), the passage of the Bible and corresponding questions for that day and an activity that is special for that day for her and I to do together. A few years ago when I was working at the church I put together a series of verses on the themes of love, joy, peace and hope that also told the whole of the Christmas story, with discussion questions for each verse. I'll be re-designing the whole thing this year, but the concept will be the same, so I'm half way there. But I still want to have little treasures inside too, because Miranda's greatest delight is finding things (even ones she's hidden herself!) So I really need to decide on something that is more than just a little flap, and has space to store the treasures.





These are photos I've grabbed from all over the place of different advent calendars I really love. Ali Edwards did the ones on the wall, (LOVE everything she does) the little matchbox one is Martha Stewart. And the little drawers shapped like a tree is apparently something Starbucks sold last year, with truffles inside. Since I don't have a budget for this activity, I'm really leaning towards the long advent chain made with toilet paper tubes (the pink one, at right). I figure I could at LEAST figure this out. And printing off digital scrapbooking papers to decorate this will be a breeze. (My girl Melissa Bennett will have a whole series of Christmas kits coming soon - I'm sure!)





When I was little my mother sewed us a big wall-hanging with pockets and little velcro bears that moved in between different rooms of the house, doing different activities to get ready for Christmas. I would love to be the kind of mom who just whipped up wall-quilts on a whim (wow, that's a lot of W's) but I am not, and I'm pretty sure that since I can't get around to pulling out the sewing machine to fix garments, it's not going to happen for this either. :) So paper and glue it is!



I'm still looking around for the *right* nativity set. I, being a girl who thinks too much and knows exactly what she wants, am finding nothing that meets my criteria. I don't want rubber ducks dressed as the three wise men, I don't want fuzzy bears bowing before the Christ-cub and I don't want chubby little children figures. That's just confusing. I also don't want something made of anything that will break easily, because really I want a set that my kids can play with a bit. But it also has to be pretty. Yup, I know I'm asking for a lot here!



Good thing I have a few months left to get everything together. :)